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2019-04-01 14:12 House intervention / intervention en chambre

International relations, Montana, Statements by Members

Déclarations de députés, Montana, Relations internationales

Mr. Speaker, it has come to our attention that there is a petition across the United States that calls on Canada to buy Montana for a trillion dollars. While we appreciate their interest, we would like to present our counter-offer.

We will annex Washington state, Oregon, California, New England and enough of New York to get the rest of Niagara Falls and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who, with her values, would be a pretty average Canadian. We will offer, in exchange, to take over Puerto Rico and make it a province, to provide the 74 million new immigrants created by this deal universal free health care, regardless of what they believe or wear, and to take Montana.

We believe that this is a fair deal that would also help compensate for our century-old reticence to accept the Turks and Caicos, which was a grave error, we now recognize. In that spirit, if they are not intending to help make Britain great again, we could also make room for Scotland in our Confederation

Monsieur le Président, nous avons appris qu'il existe une pétition aux États-Unis qui demande au Canada d'acheter le Montana pour un billion de dollars. Nous sommes certes heureux de cet intérêt, mais nous aimerions faire une contre-offre.

Nous annexerons l'État de Washington, l'Oregon, la Californie, la Nouvelle-Angleterre et une partie suffisante de l'État de New York pour que nous puissions obtenir le reste des chutes Niagara et Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, dont les valeurs rejoindraient celles de l'ensemble des Canadiens. En échange, nous proposons de prendre Porto Rico et d'en faire une province, d'offrir aux 74 millions de nouveaux immigrants par suite de cet accord des soins de santé universels gratuits, peu importe ce en quoi ils croient ou ce qu'ils portent, et de prendre aussi le Montana.

Nous croyons qu'il s'agit d'un accord juste qui permettrait aussi de compenser notre réticence, depuis 100 ans, à accepter les îles Turques et Caïques, ce qui a été — nous le reconnaissons maintenant — une grave erreur. Dans cet esprit, si les États-Unis n'ont pas l'intention d'aider la Grande-Bretagne à retrouver sa grandeur, nous pourrions également faire de la place à l'Écosse dans la Confédération.

Watch | HansardEcoutez | Hansard

Posted at 15:26 on April 01, 2019

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2019-04-01 SECU 154 | hansard parlchmbr satire statements tv | 2019-04-02 PROC 146

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