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Nestl� to buy Google

Friday, reports surfaced that Microsoft was interested in buying Google. Instead, food giant Nestl� announced that its sweetened offer to buy the Internet search engine company has been accepted.

Google will complement Nestl�'s long list of well­known brands, including Perrier water, Stouffer's, LifeSavers, and Nesquick. Nestl� says Google will be renamed NesGoogle and have a recipe section added to its main page.

"We believe that this acquisition will be good for the consumer," says Nestl� CEO Peter Brabeck. "Now anyone on the Internet can connect to NesGoogle, which will automatically determine their region and point them to retail outlets for Nestl� products."

Sources close to the deal disclosed that Google CEO Eric Schmidt was coerced into accepting the deal with Nestl�. Mr. Brabeck is alleged to have placed a large bowl of Nestl� Crunch Pieces in front of Mr. Schmidt during their discussions, refusing to allow him to eat any until agreeing to the takeover, while promising a free lifetime supply upon completion of the deal.

Asked to comment on the deal, Mr. Schmidt had very little to say; his only comment sounded something like "Mmmmmm."

Nestl� CEO Brabeck, asked what Nestl� plans to buy next, replied that NescroSoft has a nice ring to it.

Originally posted on Linux.com 2003-11-02; reposted here 2019-11-21.

Posted at 21:39 on November 02, 2003

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Environment Canada uses Linux to track hurricanes, predict, and analyse weather | satire | March 16th, 2004 (from Advogato)

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